only mildly upset I fell asleep before the sunset . . . OKAY IM UPSET

Can someone fill me in on why the hell gas is 142?

You know they have a big dick when they’re colour blind.

aquafina is a superior water

heard on the radio that people are putting zucchini in unlocked vehicles… my doors are open for you

To all of the slow drivers in SOAB: It’s just rain. Not hurricane katrina. Please drive the speed limit on the highway!!!!!

Praying for Louisiana 🥺

i will get the vaccine passport QR code tattoo'd on my forehead if that's what it's going to take

I have one dream in life. . . to learn how to surf . . . sadly I live in SOAB.

When they sleep on you… tuck em in💯

Not having had covid yet is starting to feel like a new type of virginity

If the Bengals win the Super Bowl I’m giving one person who likes and retweets this tweet $10,000 dollars. Must be following me to win. GO.

I have a confession. I love changing my location settings to different countries on hinge, but it breaks my little heart every time I have to tell someone I’m still stuck in this armpit of a province.

I’m hungover and I’m ready to butt chug rat poison.

Sunday Summer Vibes 😎

She’s a 10, but has to eat all her food in bed because it’s her save space. What is she?

Hash browns are better than fries.

I got three words . . . Loud luxury’s album