Goodnight moon, goodnight stars, goodnight Flavor Flav.

I’ve never seen a long ass text achieve the desired result

I believe children should have parents who want them. So when a woman says she doesn’t want kids, y’all should probably leave her alone. Just saying.

I come back to this speech every once in a while.

me tweeting

women are kinda like strawberries. sometimes they at the grocery store

At pizza parties in elementary school I used to sit back and watch everyone rush over at once like cattle before getting up so as to not be seen wanting

lowkey the more it hurts the less it shows

I find myself asking “am I even lovable, could anyone even love me,” and then I look down and realize I’ve known love for a long time

Happy International Women's Day

Man no one even remembers laptop in bed. It was laptop in bed for years. Now it's just phone in bed. Maybe tablet. But usually phone. So much has changed.

explaining the twilight baseball scene to my older coworker and him visibly putting his face in his hands when i say "well, vampires can only play baseball during a thunderstorm because—"