My loyalty to Hampton Inn has been activated.

why don’t we just put all the ocean water in a cup, clean out the bottom then pour it back.

i think my plant is dying idk what to do i give it water and sunlight please help it doesn’t have health insurance

college freshman, having trouble making new friends? start bragging about how many naps u take. you’ll be doing a keg stand with the student athletes by saturday

you can either buy that one book for class or buy a month’s worth of SUNNYD

if i were on death row i would simply demand endless pasta from olive garden as my last meal and i would therefore live forever

new yorkers be textin like ╭━━━━━╮ ┃ ● ══ ┃ ┃█████┃ ┃ hey im ┃ ┃ vibin’ ova ┃ ┃ here!! ┃ ┃ ┃ ┃ ┃ ┃█████┃ ┃ ○ ┃ ╰━━━━━╯

“not all men”?? you’re absolutely right, trader joe would NEVER

everyone either has a cold or is deep in a depressive episode right now. if neither then congratulations , and fuck you

y’all mind if i have a good week

when i’m all snuggled up in bed feeling warm and toasty...that’s the real me bro

Twenty one pilots? How big is that stovetop?

we leaving eating food in 2019

I am: ⚪️ guy ⚪️ girl 🔘 having a mental breakdown And am going to: ⚪️ cry ⚪️ overshare on the Internet 🔘 cut my hair, get a tattoo or piercing or do something that would disappoint my parents

ㅤ

damn bro everybody running for president i just wanna be the manager at a walgreens