you pity the moth confusing a lamp for the moon, yet here you are confusing a screen for the world

i have no more passwords left in me

desire to desire to get off social stay informed media for about events mental health ( •_•) (•_• ) ( ง )ง ୧( ୧ ) /︶\ /︶\

the final stage of being smart is acting dumb

your ultimate guide to gym times 5am-9am: corporate slop + npcs 9am-12pm: the hottest people in the world + old guys that smell of cigarettes 12pm-1pm: corporate slop + npcs 1pm-4pm: unemployed hours 4pm-8pm: corporate slop + npcs 8pm-10pm: hardcore powerlifters 10pm-5am: autism

There's a man on the hip abduction machine

Quit oat milk. Drinking black coffee now. I understand villains.

Once again, Lindsey Vonn refusing to let the Olympics be about anyone else.

Anyone else sunning their orange iPhone 17 so it could evolve into the pink one everyone is reporting about?

That Coinbase commercial was a front for money laundering

Few understand this

The corporate world doesn’t reward hard work. It rewards visibility, proximity to power, and who’s willing to play dumb in meetings.

What Kardashian does to a guy

My iPhone auto dimming is the most aggressive form of gaslighting I experience daily.

The edit jumping from Dorit and Kyle casually circulating among Rachel Zoe’s famous Hamptons friends to Erika Jayne sitting through a manifestation party is elite television psychology. #RHOBH

the way in which some women feel they were born to be mothers is the same way I feel like I was born to be a middle aged CEO with an evil twink as an exec assistant who schemes with me

Can someone please get the lip reader girl to figure out what Rihanna said to Bronwyn when she tried to grab her hand 😂☠️

The transition from bed rot goblin to gym athlete should qualify as extreme sports.