Scooby Doo taught me that there's no such thing as monsters, it's always just adults being assholes. A very important life lesson.

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Spending this first evening of Spring Break at the bar and putt-putt place on the island for happy hour. First time here. Middle-aged lesbians everywhere. USC v. UMD women's bball on the TVs. Free bar shots. Ridiculous 90s/2000s music mix on. Is this heaven?

As much as we all want to see Drake Baldwin to succeed, Sean Murphy reminded us tonight why he's the starting catcher. Love seeing that plate confidence from him again.

Chris Sale is so at ease on the microphone. He might have a future in the booth with his wit and stories.

I swear I was just resting my eyes. Wth just happened at Braves?

Wait. I thought the DOE was being eliminated.

"My child never needed a free breakfast" 🙄 OK Linda, well my child never needed a heart transplant but I'm still glad they exist for those who do..

Nine writers didn’t for vote for Hank Aaron to make the Hall of Fame in 1982. I don’t know if any of these assholes are still alive but if any of them happen to see this tweet, fuuuuck you.

Is it me or does Romano never come set?

DAMMIT! I have concert tickets on the night of the Penn State Football v. Oregon game. Was so sure it was gonna be a noon kick.

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I know we're having fun, but imagine how much MORE fun it would be to live in a functioning democracy where two fragile billionaires crashing out didn't impact, say, rural hospital closures.

Armed with a pistol and a cane, Brig. Gen. Theodore Roosevelt Jr. landed with the first wave at Utah Beach on D-Day. This is the epic story of the first General to land on D-Day, who was also the son of a U.S. President. 🧵

On June 6th, 1944 American hero's landed on the beaches of Normandy under heavy fire. The son of a president fought side by side brave men from all across the country. Privilege didn't mean you could take more, it meant you owed more.

I feel like we've reached the point in a chess game where everyone knows there's not gonna be a winner, but both players just keep shuffling the same pieces back and forth over and over again while nothing changes.

Simone intercepting incredible amounts of bullying so that children won't have to is an *actual* example of actively protecting women and kids in sports. More queen shit.