My 10 year plan: - wife - 2 sons - beach house - 1m+ salary - smokeshow nanny

summer is over.. it’s about to get cold, just pick your favorite liar and relax.

I’ve seen all of the boobs. Ladies you can put them away now I’m bored. That’s old news now

If I don’t lock in today I’m gay and my whole family dies

Putting this on my bedroom door at 28 years old

bought a new mouse

The Friday plan: - 300mg caffeine - discord with 8 dudes - Britney Spears on shuffle - yell slurs at my computer - speak to ZERO women

You’re single because you’re fat. If you stopped eating you’d have the person you want right now.

how to win fights and indoctrinate people

Gotta get off twitter when I start imagining building a life with someone’s anime pfp

She’s a butter dog. Everything is great but her dog.

I know everything about their relationship by the placement of her hand. Everything.

Is this a safe space?

i don’t fw dehydrated ppl

Maybe teachers get paid the right amount

Hey guys what’s up

PeetingDisorder is back.

Hiiiiiiiiiiii:3