It’s a shame they cancelled JK Rowling because the guy they call Voldemort just used his evil powers to save his magical Stone and they can’t even use any of that now.

Fixed it for you

Sometimes it's better to not use all the characters in a tweet, especially if you're going to thread it. Case in point:

Timothy McVeigh was also just an idealistic young man who got wrapped up in a protest movement.

We need to stop calling Chicago "Chi-raq" because at this point it's just insulting to Iraq.

Giving Michael Reinoehl the opportunity to “fuck around and find out” is definitely one of Vice’s biggest journalistic contributions.

The 21 foot “rule” is, at best, a theoretical exercise designed to illustrate a point. It does, however, serve a valid purpose. If you find yourself within spitting distance of someone rushing you with a melee object, train to draw/acquire/fire, and use lateral movement.

Same energy

You know how you get to be the top nuclear scientist in Iran? Patience.

This Baltimore/Buffalo game really should have been called “The Twin Shities Bowl”.

"May we always walk in sunshine.
May we never want for more.
May Irish angels rest their wings
Right beside our door."

Beatings will continue until understanding of Article 1 Section 1 improves.

1/🚨Announcing Some Professional News🚨 I'm delighted to announce that O'Shaughnessy Ventures LLC invested in Stability AI in August 2022 and that I have been elected Executive Chair of the board of directors.

In my time honored tradition of "leaking from the top," many of you know I have a new company debuting 01.01.2023. Thought it only fair to give the early adopters a chance to stay in the loop--tons of really exciting stuff coming! osv.llc

🚨 🚨COMPETITION TIME!🚨 🚨 Following the publication of ‘The Infinite Loops Canon’, we are offering two lucky readers the chance to win copies of all 30 books on our list. (1/2)

I just wanted a reason to use this gif

Personally, I’m looking forward to watching us all handle the impending results like respectful and mature adults.

Happy Anniversary to my undisputedly better half, Lady Voldemort

Jerry Jones’ mic going out, at an interview in Jerry World, is just fucking flawless.