I am celebrating Canada Day in the traditional manner, lying in bed and pressing a cold beer against various parts of my naked body #CanadaDay2018 #heat #beer

I drank a coffee after 4pm and now I can't stop beatboxing

And so another New Wallet Day is marked by the unburdening of false fortune cookie predictions

I started retroactively adding things I've already done to my to-do lists and I've never felt more productive in my damn life

A good litmus test for how much I like someone is the amount of tape I use when wrapping their Secret Santa gift

R.I.P. my teenage metabolism, 1998-2019

So glad I don't own a Fitbit rn

Our doors may be temporarily closed, but you can still visit our beautiful outdoor sculptures! Pictured is our very own Senior Marketing Manager, Rachel Weiner, admiring "Cracked Wheat" by the talented Shary Boyle.

Screenshotting all my rejected ChatGPT prompts in case I ever decide to give therapy another shot

I'm embarrassed to be a human and am strongly considering switching to dolphin.

Is there a way to "disrupt the system" without having to "go outside"?

As an adult my exposure to Nerf products has really taken a nosedive

Three words that never fail to stress me out: sign within border

Is it too late to sign up for the rocket that goes to Mars and never comes back?

When a friend with kids tells me how important it is to let them carve their own path, I can relate - I feel the same way about my eyebrows.

Although long considered to be a passing fad of the late 20th century, Magic Eye technology proved to be a decisive factor in the Battle of Cyclops Ridge.

Emailed a therapist about setting up a session and in his reply he called me Steve. Can’t decide whether it was a typo or a brilliant marketing ploy.

I never really considered myself to be middle-aged until just now when I realized I’ve been listening to a Sheryl Crow song on repeat for more than an hour.

Oscar prediction: I will get drunk and spend all night making snide comments about other people's accomplishments. #Oscars