it was a uh beautiful reception. the wedding, i mean

jesus fucking christ— if one more journalist comes to her with a “newbreaking” story on the titanic submersible, she’s gonna freak out. it’s old news by now, people!

HA! “president-elect hopes to feed nation his nuts” do you want me crucified, gerri?!

oh, gross. people don’t think that about us, do they? i’ll tell you what, he doesn’t make my oil spill if you know what i mean. i’ll pitch it — this could be good, maybe it’ll even appeal to the younger generation!

no, no — i know, i wrote half the sex-charged stuff we aired. .. hm, maybe you’re right. all of us on the team have been a bit nervous on how to approach it. but i guess horny is better than hate-crimey! i agree. i’m not soaking, but it’s nothing that couldn’t be worked on.

it’s descriptive, no? that’s my job. we need to make sure he sticks — don’t stress, just relaaax a little, kellman. i know what i’m doing.

|| i don’t know how to explain eleanor’s vibe other than that video of wendy williams singing native new yorker on the masked singer. like that is eleanor if you don’t get it then you don’t get it.

do you want me to air a scandal about you? because i’ll do it.

stop spreading this.