I don’t understand how more comes out then what went in...

It started with a single bite and now I’m only a few scoops away from finishing an entire 5lb tub of Costco Canada #potatosalad. What’s your preferred way to kick off the weekend?

I’m fudge-hurts-my-teeth years old

I just pulled all the dirty dishes out of the dishwasher and put them away, thanks for asking! How’s your morning going?

How come shit like naps, repetitive daily routine, not being drunk and/or stoned all day licked ass as a kid but as an adult they all rule?! Even licking ass!

I tell inanimate objects to fuck off about 27x per day. How bout you?

I think our current social media landscape is a result of thinking that everyone’s pics of their meals, and posts about the mundane shit they were doing, was lame. Pls take me back to the days of Jonathan & Samantha posting pics of their taco cornbread casserole while couponing😩

I’m working 15 hours or more every day trying to start a new career because my music career has stopped completely because of covid. People I know have died from it. People have lost jobs, businesses, homes and hope of any kind. The party in power

Dear TELUS Support, How come a rover can send pictures & videos from Mars that’s is 215.7 million kilometers away from earth, yet I can barely get wifi two floors above my router?

Wait...it’s already been 3 months since Christmas?!

Hey TSN, will All Elite Wrestling #Rampage air this Friday on one of your stations?

@precisionpdrtld will Bret Hart be doing autographs & photos tomorrow between 1:00-4:00pm?

Seeing how mean & shitty people have been to each other over this last week makes me realize how the Salem witch trials were actually a thing…

Dear MATT STONE & Eric Cartman, Can you PLEASE make a South Park episode based on our beady-eyed, flappy headed Prime Minister and the “They Terk Err Jerbs” Truckers?!! Thank you, Every Canadian SP Fan

I wish my dog spoke English so he’d understand what “Fuck off” means…

If a bird shits on you is it good luck or am I just trying to humor myself cause a bird just shit on me?

Me trying to sip my morning coffee while traveling down any FACKIN’ road in Red Deer.

It's a great feeling that today's PPV (refuse to call them PLE) has a massive feel to it, not just the usual February filler PPV before 'Mania WWE #EliminationChamber