toddler: when i grow up i want to be a princess conservative (dumb): sorry kid boys can’t be princesses liberal (also dumb): you can be anything you want! me: [leaning in really close] let me teach you something about monarchy you reactionary little shit

A Polish environmental group placed a tracker on the back of a stork. The migratory bird traveled to Sudan, where someone found the tracker, removed the sim card, put it in their own phone and racked up hours worth of phone calls bbc.com/news/blogs-new… #PolishStork

i noticed there was a blank wall at mcdonald’s so i decided to make this fake poster of me and my friend. It’s now been 51 days since i hung it up.

Starting a thread of various videos today in HK and Shenzhen as the world’s strongest storm #TyphoonManghkut wiping our cities. (Videos are not mine but collected from messages doing the rounds w WhatsApp and WeChat)

Excuse me, sir. Do you have time to talk about our lord and savior, Godzilla???

#sternschnuppe #berlin

고장난 tv로 축구를 보면 이 꼬라지가 남

Brand in Berlin-Marzahn, ca. 3.30 Uhr

1997: World's best human chess player gets destroyed by computer. 2017: World's best chess computer gets destroyed by Artificial Intelligence program that had only learned about chess a few hours earlier. x.com/bramcohen/stat…

Me: *accidentally types url wrong one time* Navigation Bar: [every day for 15 years] Do you wanna go to Faceboot today? Huh? You wanna visit a boot with a face on it? Huh, you piece of shit? Is that what you wanna do? Moron.

It was a trap