My dumb ass just watched The Conjuring while staying alone in a barn in the middle of nowhere

Nothing makes Mark Jaquith more ready to do sketchy things for money than when our kids buy pre-sliced watermelon

We can build a house at the farm, and this would be our view… or we can have a paved driveway. Can’t have both.

I’m not a doctor but I think getting a burro would cure me

The roads out by the farm are appropriately-named, at least

Farm experiment “ducks” is a total failure, for the record. I mean they are cute and I love them but their eat-bugs:shit ratio is like 1:20 and it’s not worth it

The yearning I have for my hot tub after ten days of living at the farm AND having COVID is… X-rated

In order to live more like my role model, Leo Thomas McGarry, I've spent the last year raising my cholesterol to slightly unhealthy levels

“It’s available to stream on Fubo, Sporkle, or Yammit.” “Never say any of those words to me again.”

You: accountant Friend: not accountant, gets hung up on by the IRS

The Robinson Effect: wherein my husband spends a lot of time watching The Chair Company and then just acts weird af for a few days

I think about the heated seats in my previous car in the way that movies portray someone thinking about “the one that got away”

The hottest my husband has ever been was when I asked him to translate President Bartlet’s Latin rant at God in Two Cathedrals as Bartlet spoke it, and he did 🥵

In your 40’s you will find yourself having crazy Saturdays like this one where you babysit your grandkitten

You might see this and think it is idyllic, peaceful. You would be wrong. This is a 1,200 pound toddler metaphorically fighting naptime.

When my spouse says he got me a fun gift I am scared, but not because he’s bad at gifts. It’s because I am scared of fun.