Dreamt that I was a little black girl in the 1950's again. Running from a truck that is chasing me and screaming my brother's name.

I swear the puffed rice in my granola just lined up perfectly for a moment to say "You will fail."

Some folks when you're around them space and time opens the world to fill with possibilities, other folks - are like papaya - pussyfruit.

menagicide, think about it...

I had a real pearl I was going to drop when I saw that "menagicide" made me lose followers, then I laughed until the pearl was lost. worthit

"Nothing to see here" A show for the blind.

Has learned that "It looks comfortable, but where do my feet go?" has a lot of applications.

I just peed on my dress. I'm 33.

Was told post amazing self-date by a stranger that I look like both a hobbit and an angel combined. I am horrified, but can't stop laughing.

You say "I want to teach English abroad." I hear "I want to screw Asian women, but don't know how unless they can barely understand me."

I have a lot to say about phones, not much of it good, at least vibrate still exists!

Post gulag of Latin Essentials at work for 5 months -I've composed Caucasian essentials. Mostly Skynard and the soundtrack to Wayne's World.

I miss the rotisserie at work squeaking out the opening to Gangster's paradise. Nothing is magical anymore.

Saw a man dressed like Mr. Peanut hiding in the bushes. I don't know why a man would wear a Victorian tux, top hat, and monocle-my guess-PI

Chippendales, you know... the Harlem Globe trotters of sexy dance.

Kindness is free, so don't be stingy.

Champons, maximum monthly protection for the winner in you.

I'm getting tired of the homogeneous taste.

Robert Sapolsky on humanness melts my heart.

Saw a man today having a heated argument with his girlfriend while wearing 3D glasses. She won because it ended on "You look fucking dumb."