If you make a post about winning at the local meat draw goddamn you know I’m gonna like the shit out of that shit.

Matt Murray looks like he spent the offseason in a Lighthouse with Willem Defoe. Keeping Karlsson Fantasy Hockey Podcast

What if we find out David Blaine isn’t a magician, but just a guy trying to eat every deck of cards on the planet. David Blaine

I organize my tools by which ones can and can’t be used as a roach clip. For example: if they can’t be used as a roach clip, I throw them out. I own A LOT of needle nose pliers.

It’s perfectly acceptable flip your underwear inside out and wear it again, as long as you call it a “Reverse Retro Jersey”. Elliotte Friedman

Neil DeGrasse Tyson on some podcast: “And that’s why it would be unlikely, and frankly, impossible… for Mars to sustain a race of ‘Biker Mice’”. Marvel Studios

When me and the Uber driver fart on the same ride to assert dominance.

Going to the gym so I can become a Pick Up Artist. (Guy who is so good at picking up heavy things he qualifies for *SOME* government grants.)

Shreeky from Care Bears is a Nepo Baby.

Just like saying “Macbeth” in a Theatre, it’s similarly bad luck to say Lanny MacDonald’s name in any hockey arena. If you must, please address him as “The Scottish Player”.

I set my dating app’s radius to zero km before entering the mosh pit just in case. Amazing show. Fucked Up

Saw Bruce Springsteen last night in Buffalo. The night was made even better by having couple bigdeal Paul Bissonnette. He even threw in a couple sneaky bangers.

Big Bussi fan. Instagram reel of his mask: instagram.com/reel/CidazoNvb… Story: wmubroncos.com/news/2022/1/24…

Maybe the Writers should have gone on strike before ChatGPT.

Holy fuck. A girl walked in front of me while I was hitting the loud part in “What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes and I completely Oppenheimered her and I feel so bad.

I wanna live in the dimension where Don Cherry is super liberal and is wearing a pride themed suit on coaches corner to protest the NHL’s ban. Unfortunately in this universe, Ron McLean is the less progressive one tho.

Working on a movie about a lead singer who shows everyone his butt while singing “Mr Brightside”. It’s gonna be called: “The Killers of The (Brandon) Flowers’ Moon”.

3 Body Problem? Yeah I had one of those at the orgy last night.

Congrats on Seth Jarvis for being named to Team Canada.