I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, I got your girl in the front seat of my Honda Fit, and we’re jamming to Fireflies by Owl City

Hey y’all, just looking for something that’ll piss me off today. Let me know.

I think Eminem will be remembered forever for his lyrics “you make my peepee go, da doing doing doing”

Happy Friday everyone. I’m hoping all of you can throw some judgement my way and really explain to me what I’ve been doing wrong lately. Cheers.

Grittying after a goal in a hockey game should be an automatic 3 game suspension.

Lmk what time i should expect you guys tonight.

What’s the difference between astrology and essential oils

Ate a couple presidents choice THC edibles this evening and boy do I want one of them roasted chickens

What’s the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea ?

Vladimir Poontang mane

The Tuesday after a long weekend always makes me fancy a wank

Telling a girl you went through “a crazy red velvet dessert phase” is a road no one should strive to go down. I don’t think anyways ? Ladies, how are we ?

Apparently Celine Dion isn’t the play on a commercial construction site. What a bunch of squares.

Dating apps: “what’s your love language?” Me: absorbing a hurtful comment and letting it develop into cancer 10 years down the road

Gentlemen, what’s the criteria for taking a shit in a sink ?

There’s a special place in hell reserved for the dweebs who flex in front of the mirror at the gym. The biceps look good brother.

Happy belated Mother’s Day, ma. I had a couple good jokes, but I don’t want the electric chair.

We honoured a Rebel undergoing Cancer treatment & staying at the Ronald McDonald House in Saskatoon. As a school we raised $500 for the Ronald McDonald House. Dean Schwebius shaved his head in solidarity for this student & her brother. YQR Catholic Schools #WeAreManyWeAreOne

I look like the white Drake who has to keep a close eye on his finances

Technically I’m a “make a wish” kid. I asked for a stereo and the hospital said I could go to Disney world. Fuckin’ jip