woke up as a beautiful genius sweetheart hilarious angel again today

i have friends who make 270k+ who insist on splitting the bill and i have friends who make half that and insist on treating me. it’s a topsy-turvy world out there…

got a large matcha and holy shit i have never seen a large matcha be this large in my entire life. it’s like when you get a large diet coke from panda express

it sucks that no one enjoys board games these days. no one wants to play 3 hours of monopoly anymore

nothing pisses me off more than “in a bit”. do not ever say that to me

if i had a little girl i would convert some overalls so the front pocket was a baby bjorn for her :) if i had a little boy i would leave him at home. he will ruin my swag

22 is newborn. not even alive and blinking yet. 27 is impossibly ancient. wizened. 29 is beyond the scope of age as we can currently comprehend it, far past it even being over. but 35 is a teenager

awesome question if you’re oppenheimer

i love taylor swift

she stole his canes and dyed it key lime green

marathon

this is sooo me

if it’s not clocking to you and i’m standing on business… then who’s flying the plane?!

ran 9 miles last night and i feel completely fine today. i have prayed for days like these!!!!!!!!!

believe it or not it is close to impossible to train for a marathon, have 3 jobs, go on dates, and get enough sleep at night. damn

going on a long weekend trip to joshua tree with my friends and im literally so excited i could cry. hiking!!! laying by the pool!!! laughing!!! awesome.

— Sylvia Plath

oomf fest in the middle of the desert this weekend for no other reason other than the fact that we all went to Swiftie Twitter University together. I love love love being a swiftie. Best job ever

got upgraded to first class on my flight to la so now i’m reclined as fuck giggling and kicking my feet, watching a running documentary waiting for them to serve me dinner and a crisp diet coke. life is worth living