Makes you think. #notsafeshow

DPT: Here's a quick & easy tip to spice things up in your relationship: break up. #DateProTip

Maybe they should fire this barista. on.cc.com/2c95fZU

Saying your partner’s name during sex can be hot, unless their name is Dirk.

DPT: Buy her a bouquet of flowers. If she has allergies, you know she is not genetically fit to mother your children. #DateProTip

Bored and alone? Spend this weekend binging the Not Safe podcast. on.cc.com/2c9sMtQ

Nothing is sexier than enthusiastic consent. on.cc.com/2bPYRZn

Having sex with the Mona Lisa must be great because no matter where you are, she is always making eye contact with you.

DPT: masturbate ahead of time. Then you'll probably fall asleep and not have to go on the date at all. #DateProTip

The classiest dick pic photo shoot to date... on.cc.com/2bQ1oTg

Don’t get sad when he doesn’t call. Remember there’s always a chance he died.

DPT: Don’t rush sex, unless you’re like... super duper horny. #DateProTip

Still rocking out to the song of the summer with Omarion. on.cc.com/2c97DzL

DPT: Remember to pretend like you haven’t obsessively Instagram stalked them before you met. #DateProTip

#MakeAmericaHornyAgain on.cc.com/2c98Dnz

DPT: Instead of 20%, write a witty joke on the tip line. It shows how funny you are and that you're upfront about being an ass. #DateProTip

.Nikki Glaser broke her dick. on.cc.com/2bQ0WVn

Nikki finds out if soon-to-be married couples are ready to take the plunge. on.cc.com/2bQ1fzz

.Nikki Glaser meets with the Neil deGrasse Tyson of pussy to demystify the female orgasm. on.cc.com/2bQ1ASR

THIS #NotSafeShow MUG IS UP FOR AUCTION. REPLY TO Quinn Banford W/YOUR BID, VENMO, & HE'LL SHIP IT TO YA (it's a lil chipped on one side)! x.com/QuinnBanford/s…