I went to the year 3000 not much has changed but we lived underwater and you’re great great great grand daughter ….. she died

my sexual awakening was the music video to Love Dont Cost A Thing by J-Lo you cant un-know this now

I swear I feel fly like a G6 now plz take me back

ight lets talk why didnt spider man grow fangs

its good to be back (Also, yes i got a haircut after this)

Oh ur in her Dm’s? I’m in the comment section on Pornhub making legitimate reviews and suggestions

aight someone who lives in Virginia and is married to a woman named Gina can get knuckle tattoos that say “I ❤️ Vagina” One hand “I ❤️ VA” the other “Gina”

Being single is the 2nd worst thing thats happened to me behind the ‘Miso Soup Incident of 2012’

ah shit lemme call u back bruh i accidentally dropped my dun dun dun

my mom told me to take my niece somewhere fun…

The Wright Brothers invented the Airplane because road head was getting boring

please cancel me i need a day off

I want to get married but at this point id settle for fucking a warm bagel with cream cheese

Your honor my client is simply a “silly goose”

MOM PICK ME UP IM SCARED JUNE 7

The very moment Alonso hit the go ahead homer. Clearly Marcaux and I are pleased. #LetsGoMets

Babe r u ok? U barely even ascended into a state of pure bliss when ‘Work It’ by Missy Elliot came on?

If no one is gonna say it I will In the movie big daddy: Adam Sandler by legality kidnapped a child and deserved that jail time

*aggressively jerking off* “Tell me about the rabbits George”