Picture of a pterodactyl up now on my Instagram story. Don’t know who took the photo. Pray we never meet

gabe Stay classy Gabriel

RIP Hagrid tonight we smokin Slytherin

To take a stand against antisemitism and the actions of Kanye west and kyrie Irving, I will have sex with any girl with curly hair and a big nose that asks

She’s sucking on my Potter even though it’s hairy and it’s fire the way she gobble it

Santa Claus bro. the nonchalant legend. never been the one to talk much but always there when you need him. always got his head down. plotting. Once a year he chooses to shine. bringing jolly to all and just being fat as fuck. Same fit every year. humble. Slow stroke demon. Love

Today you turn 39. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about you. Happy 39th birthday LeBron Raymond James Sr. I will defend you for life. Today I will drink 39 LeBeers in your honor. Today is all about the king. It’s time to go zero-dark-thirty-23 mode. Happy LeBirthday

in the orgy padding my stats during garbage time

It has been discovered that LeBron James is sleeping with his newest teammate’s mom

she let me hit on 9/11 so i’d never forget

Good start to the day

Welcome to the bigs, Mick Abel! He strikes out the first batter he faces in his Major League debut 👏