Oh, I love a good trash talking.

And then he pooped it out. Like a poop machine... that poops.

Well there's a problem with your theory - I'm gay.

It's like looking for a needle in a needle stack.

-So a dead body doesn't spout blood like Old Yeller? -Old Yeller was a dog. I think you're thinking of Old Faithful, the geyser. -You sure?

Is this about the time I peed at the Lincoln Memorial?

Why let a tv get in the way of our sex life when we could have foot smell, am I right?

But I'll admit, I am wearing a poncho.

Whoa, Gary, this ain't no cabbage, this is a person!

Pardon my French, but that is a steaming heap of bullcrap.

...and you are feeding a rat with a bottle.

Clearly it wasn't because of his voice. That's like butter.

I cry at the end of Legally Blonde Two. Does that sound like a murderer to you?

My name is Darrell, and I'm in the woods.

Bring your anus tea or whatever.

Just a lot of pain, misery, and self-loathing.

Oh god, I can feel the inadequacy rising in me.

Well I'm gonna plant a cypress tree in your mom's butt and pull you under the shade of that tree and slap you across the face.

Go back to the donuts because that smells like monkey ass.

He asked if I wanted to pork.