finally, a polling firm brave enough to turn this 26-year-old onion joke into a reality

Devoting an entire writing career to "I know with 100% certainty what will come of this cutting edge research" seems, uh, a little risky to be fair though there probably is still some chance the whole thing crashes and burns. big payoff if that happens I guess

“Among articles stating that data was available upon request, only 17% shared data upon request.”

very annoying how effective it is to stop writing what you think and instead come up with a story to demonstrate it, because what you think always turns out to be hopelessly naive and shallow while the story may turn out to be a good example of the deeper principle