Carly has been using her allotment to feed people struggling with the cost of living. Last night someone broke in and salted the land to stop her growing. Her go fund me: gofundme.com/f/a-meal-on-me…

Wading knee deep in raw sewage at the seaside thanks to my £450 rail return ticket and enjoying a £8 pint at a pub with golliwogs hanging from ropes above the bar, I reflect on how lucky we are not to have been dragged back to the 1970s by Jeremy Corbyn, before toasting The King

need to get a water bottle so my sweet baby cat stops drinking all my water when I'm in bed meaning I can't drink it anymore

im sorry i love you guys but i cannot participate in the campaign to rehabilitate tom cruise's reputation. i get that he is an old man who does his own stunts but he's also a cultist who has enabled decades of abuse, harassment, and extortion so idk the vibes ain't vibing

ruining the vibe of the event by showing everyone softcore furry porn of wasps because I was trying to figure out the anatomical location of a wasp's anus vs its stinger

gun against my head, down on my knees begging people to stop inviting me to their broadcast channels on instagram

Yet another one for the scrapbook

Imagine hearing that five thousand kids died and then proceeding to lift your fingers up and start typing a defense of that

To be clear this is what the people who did it are saying, publicly

2013 was a practice 2014 was a practice 2015 was a practice 2016 was a practice 2017 was a practice 2018 was a practice 2019 was a practice 2020 was a practice 2021 was a practice 2022 was a practice 2023 was a practice 2024 I’m eating potatoes and molasses

The ICC has applied for arrest warrants for Benjamin Netanyahu and Defence Minister Yoav Gallant, as well as Hamas leaders. The West can no longer deny it: Israel is a pariah state ran by war criminals, and all those who continue to support them are war criminals by extension.

Let the ICC arrest warrants against Benjamin Netanyahu and Yoav Gallant be only the start. If I was a British government minister who permitted the supply of weapons to a state committing genocide, I would be taking legal advice today.

The ICC's arrest warrant is a sobering wake-up call for political leaders who have aided and abetted crimes against humanity. The UK government must give its full support to the ICC and end arms sales to Israel. We will carry on campaigning for a just and lasting peace.

Now do a silly one!

having a cat is the best thing you can ever do, imagine wanting to go for a wee by yourself and she pushes the door to come in and just stare at you because she loves you so much

my mum is currently livid cos she has a lesbian coworker that she hates and when she was drunky on her work night out yesterday she showed this lady a photo of me and the woman said "well she isn't straight is she"

I think 2025 is my year of the margarita and maybe also oysters 9/10 times I have a margarita

I am the benevolent dictator of a small land-locked nation named Pierogistan