😅

Me: Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your McOrder? McDonalds Boss: Again *rubs temples* you don't need to put Mc in front of words Me: Oh ok *turns back to customer* welcome to Donalds

I saw a guy at Starbucks today. No iPhone. No tablet. No laptop. He just sat there. Drinking coffee. Like a Psychopath.

OK friends, remember "we are groot" 🌲. tobi lutke started a great initiative today. I'll donate one tree per RTs + Likes that this tweet gets. Deal? Small print: max of 100k trees because I haven't told my wife about this yet! Cybersole sneaky Syed SudoShoe 👟 Neal — e/acc

Sure I’ve seen that somewhere before... 🚀

Alright, it's true. I have an extra pair of these AirPods Pro to give away. Just RT and you're in. Will pick a winner in 24 hours. Good luck!

👊🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👊🏿 👉🏿👎🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👎🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👎🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👎🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👎🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👎🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👎🏻👇🏻👎🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽 IT'S FRIDAY! 👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👍🏻👆🏻👍🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👍🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👍🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👍🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👍🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👍🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👍🏾👈🏿 👊🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👊🏿

VALUE BET SPOTTER Damn this bet won!!!!

WINNER.

so I finally got to fly in the Etihad 3 room airplane seat. the seat had 3 rooms. 3 rooms for 1 💺. It was everything I’d ever hoped for. Thanks for the hookup @EtihadAirways

Twitter is canceled for 2020

My only gripe abt kids today is that no one under 25 seems to pirate media? Heard a 20 year old say they didnt want to pay money for a streaming service but didn't know how to watch a show otherwise. Wtf is wrong with kids???? You steal that shit!

FUCKING HOWLING!!!! Watch the lad celebrate by getting his cock out and doing the helicopter!!!! 😂😂😂😂 #NUFC

Å være trener i lokalfotballen fortsetter å gi helt ubeskrivelige øyeblikk. Under onsdagens treningskamp mot Viking 2 på SR-Bank Arena, snudde jeg meg mot benken for å sende Vegard Meling Nesse i oppvarming. Da sitter han altså å spiser en hel grillet kylling. Han ble sittende.

my shoes probably think i died

michael jackson’s pronouns are he/he

*ser en ulv* *ulven reiser seg* meg: hva faen *ulven gjør VAR-tegnet* meg: å faen løp det er en VAR-ulv