You know we have hit a technological wall with cell phone improvements when the only thing Apple pitches about their new phone is that it's made of Titanium.

hey spanish friends... like..why even have an "h" in the first place?

anyone down to go to gendered bathrooms, replace the signs with two random things like a fish and a sandal, and watch people puzzle on which is manlier?

tapered jogging pants? suspicious.. like what are you hiding?

Accept the situation and move on.

I just think its cute that stamps are stickers with jobs.

...To clarify, my political philosophy is techno-dystopian utilitarian monarchism, i.e. using invasive mass surveillance to identify an ideal ruler and forcing that person to be king against their will.

“He’s not my president” bumper sticker with a picture of some random guy who was never president.

how did y'all yt women go from Britney Spears to Taylor Swift. Puzzled, honestly.

i love when the gender options are "male" "female" and "prefer not to answer" like it just reads as "boy" "girl" and "what are you, a cop? i don't owe you anything"

jazz is just cursive music

We’re in the age of "everyone is edgy but no one is sincere"

She throw it back.. like she just caught a fish that's too small and abides by the local fishing regulations on minimum size limit

Focus on you, you’ve done enough for the ungrateful.

Work: Gives PTO Me: Uses PTO Work:

im a bit jealous of the social life the birds hanging out on the power lines seem to have.

download estimates be like 18 BILLION DAYS lol just kidding 13 minutes...

your life is not meaningless, you just haven't seen the Ocean in a while

When the bonus hits tomorrow, I might actually pay for priority delivery on Uber Eats

don't mistake empty calories for nourishment.