Just realized I haven’t been on Twitter in months. In related news, I didn’t miss Twitter.

Is there any sort of twitter filter to block closeup videos of blackheads being sucked out of someone's face?

#Rockstar is the same f****** thing over and over and over and over and over. Unbelievable I'm trying way too hard

WIN a Pair of Focal Shape 65 Speakers adsrsounds.com/giveaways/win-… via @

You’re either waiting to eat the avocados or you need to eat all 4 within a day. There is no in-between.

You know that sleek move where you run your scissors smoothly through the wrapping paper, making a nice clean cut? Yeah, I can’t do that

Theeere are the eagles that we are used to *sigh*. Miss u Carson Wentz

I don’t want to be rich. I just want “can regularly shop at Whole Foods” kind of money

“Free WiFi” at hotels in 2017 is what “Free HBO” was in the 90’s

Holy shit... I was just scrolling through some 80’s retro synthwave samples and just had the craziest wave of nostalgia come over me. That was wild

I like flying because you can start drinking at any time of the day and it’s totally acceptable

Goals are good to have. One of my goals is to get to a level where I don’t have to pee on someone else’s puke.

Yeah. Curling is still dumb.

A.I. is terrifying

“I don’t want to be hungover for pinball tomorrow” were actual words that came out of my mouth last night

Today’s productivity thwarted because Windows OS is unpredictable garbage

Studies have shown that if you stand up IMMEDIATELY after the plane stops at the terminal, you’re an asshole.

I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to realize all of the wonders that ranch dressing mix packets have to offer

A year into owning a Windows pc and I now realize I’ve made a mistake. Never again

Don’t even put the sound on. Just watch and enjoy x.com/pegboardnerds/…