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Ladies: always try your best to be a whore in the kitchen and a cook in the bedroom. #rulestoliveby

Did y'all miss us up in heeaah? New location. Same snarkiness. #AK

I once got bizzy in a Burger King bathroom. I'M CRAZY. #pronouncedwithaUmpty

Best... http://bit.ly/mVAhqX

Jay Ziti #fatbands

Get me a shot of snake juice- I hear it has a dope aftertaste.

Hey, did I tell you guys my life is in shambles?!?

Steve Millet Band. Eh? RT benbrlsq Maybe You Should Die graham fudge railroad #fatbands

RT Charles VOLDEMORT, Y U NO HAVE NOSE?

This sakura live wallpaper is rocking my world to an embarrassing extent.

HEY Gizmodo GIVE ME A SPOTIFY INVITE!

RT ander other Guess it all started in your apartment.

What's up in #anchorage today? I think I'll take a break from my usual gf cookie seeking in an attempt to find...ice cream?!?

The delirious tweets resulting from the minneapolis heat wave is making my twitter feed way awesome. #staycoolfriends

Sad Panda tonight, missing my mpls peeps...

Omg, I just played "lassies" for 54 points on #wordfeud #bestrapperalive

BEST RAPPER ALIVE!

RT Rev Run If things around you don't change, change the things you're around

Follow @jordanisfail and read the #filthyelaphant tweets. Also, follow you-ass.com mmhmm!

Maybe You Should Die thank you! I appreciate the love. (but my name is spelled with an O!) Jordon Daley ;)