I’ll give you 10 to 1 odds

So, where're ya headed? Aspen. California... Beautiful.

That's a car. $275 thou - might want to hang on to that one.

Why would she have you meet her at a bar at 10 in the morning?? I just figured she was a raging alcoholic!

Nice set of hooters you got there. I beg your pardon? The owls! They’re beautiful.

What did you sell him, Lloyd? Stuff. What kind of stuff? A few baseball cards, a sack of marbles…*cough* Petey.

That's a lovely accent you have... New Jersey? Austria. Austria?? Well then. G’day mate… let’s put anotha shrimp on the barbie.

She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her enough or something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.

Hi, Lloyd. Hi, Harry. How was your day? Not bad. Fell off the jetway again.

There's two of 'em, one of 'em's got a gun. Did you pay the gas bill? 😬 Do you realize what you've done!?

I spent my life savings turning my van into a dog… The alarm alone cost me two hundred.

She's running late huh? Just a couple hours...You know girls... when they're excited about something, everything has to be perfect.

One time we successfully mated a Bulldog with a Shih Tzu. We called it a bullshit.

Hey. How ‘bout a hug?

“The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I’d do anything to bone her.” “That’s a special feeling.”

He blamed me. You heard him. Those were his last words. “Not if you count the gurgling sound.”

You're it quitsies! Anti-quitsies. You're it! Quitsies no anti-quitsies no startsies! You can't do that! Can too! Cannot, stamped it! Can too, double stamped it no erasies! Cannot, triple stamped it no erasies. Touch blue make it true. You cant triple stamp a double stamp!

TIME OUT