Frank Lampard doesn’t have a magic wand

New twitter is the worst of both worlds. Loads of spam and angry nonsense, but you can't find out who the West Brom racism thing is about.

𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗦𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘀 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲! 🙌 - Best Seats in the House 🏟️ - Food and drink 🍕 - T20 shirt 💎 - No U18s 🔞 Want to join us on Thursday for #BIRvNOR? Just follow and 𝙍𝙏 for your chance to win. 🐻#YouBears | #CarlingsBestSeats | Carling

🚨 Competition time! Follow us and retweet this tweet for your chance to win £100 worth of tickets for any event(s) available on WeGotTickets. We'll be picking out one lucky winner at random on Friday 12th July at 12:00pm. Good luck!

Hey Merseyrail did I zone out or did the 2200 from Chester not stop at Capenhurst? According to Realtime Trains if it halted it was for less than 30s realtimetrains.co.uk/service/gb-nr:…

How Andrew Tate tweets sound when you read them out loud

A word, if I may, West Midlands Railway about the upkeep of Kings Norton station. There were so many compacted leaves on the stairs this morning that it was a trip hazard. Anyone needing the handrail would struggle to get a solid footing. (I cleared them but please look at it)

I don’t know what you’re all so cross about. This seems perfectly fine to me.

William Wilberforce should not impose his religious beliefs on others, says peer. Colleague says Independent MP has ‘religious reasons’ for opposing slave trade.

𝗪𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗟𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗺 𝟰𝟴 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗿𝘁! Like and share this post. Deadline is midday Friday. 🐻#YouBears

When Gary Neville says "you wouldn't see this in under 9s or under 10s football" - you would though, wouldn't you. In an U9s game I once saw a goalkeeper shout to his teammate, as the game was going on, "JAMES, HAVE YOU FINISHED CHARLOTTE'S WEB YET?"

Vandaag naar de Cadbury Athletic FC x Terrace Edition Groundhop geweest waar een van de mooiste tribunes van Engeland staat.

🏟️ 𝗩𝗲𝗿𝘁𝘂'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗦𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘀 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲🏟️ T20 shirt 👕 Food and drink 🍔 No U18s 🔞 Want to join us for our massive Vitality Blast double-header home opener? Just 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 us and Vertu and 𝗥𝗧 for your chance to win! 🐻#YouBears | #Vertu

Will give away a free home shirt of choice to anyone who RTs this if Delap gets more then 15 league goals next season

🏟️ 𝗩𝗲𝗿𝘁𝘂'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗦𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘀 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲🏟️ T20 shirt 👕 Food and drink 🍔 No U18s 🔞 Want to join us for our massive Vitality Blast double-header on Friday? Just 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 us and Vertu and 𝗥𝗧 for your chance to win! 🐻#YouBears | #Vertu

🏟️ 𝗩𝗲𝗿𝘁𝘂'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗦𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘀 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲🏟️ T20 shirt 👕 Food and drink 🍔 No U18s 🔞 Want to join us for our massive Vitality Blast double-header on Sunday? Just 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 us and Vertu and 𝗥𝗧 for your chance to win! 🐻#YouBears | #Vertu

🏟️ 𝗩𝗲𝗿𝘁𝘂'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗦𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘀 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲🏟️ T20 shirt 👕 Food and drink 🍔 No U18s 🔞 Want to join us for the mega #MidlandsMania on Saturday? Just 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 us and Vertu and 𝗥𝗧 for your chance to win! 🐻#YouBears | #Vertu

🏟️ 𝗩𝗲𝗿𝘁𝘂'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗦𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘀 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲🏟️ T20 shirt 👕 Food and drink 🍔 No U18s 🔞 Want to join us for Bears Women vs Hampshire Hawks on Sunday? Just 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 us and Vertu and 𝗥𝗧 for your chance to win! 🐻#YouBears | #Vertu

🏟️ 𝗩𝗲𝗿𝘁𝘂'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗦𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘀 𝗜𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲 🏟️ T20 shirt 👕 Food and drink 🍔 No U18s 🔞 Fancy an afternoon at the cricket on us? Bears Women vs Essex, Weds - 11:30. Just 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 us and Vertu and 𝗥𝗧 for your chance to win! 🐻#YouBears | #Vertu

“What the hell kind of Christian is this guy anyway?” From the new Private Eye, out now.