🔥The 9th Round of Easy Loan, Earn $40 Reward is in progress❗️ ⏰ Promotion Period: January 15th - Feburary 15th, 2025 👉 Register now and check more details at gate.io/campaigns/358

I’m the first to admit that I’m an unreliable narrator

So I guess there’s two kind of Chads now, the Simping Chads and the Bro Chads...

My take on this administration is it’s one big cluster #covidfefe

Today's superpower: magnetic attraction of dumpster fires apparently.

Dear White People... I follow lots of you and hope my words will open your eyes to the reality of life in America as a Person of Color. If I loose many of you as followers then that tells me everything I need to know about you however that is not my intent.

I don’t tweet for you. I tweet for me and several of my other personalities.

Who could predict that all this isolation would make my introvert side even less interested in social media

There’s nothing I like better than rolling around naked on silk sheets. It also appears that most bedding stores prefer you pay for them and take them home before doing so. I know that now.

Dear people who talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Think of what us creepy old huggers are going through this year.

I’m unconvinced that we have the right targets for collective antipathy. Unless I’m the target, then I totally get it.

I’ve been cancelled* on Twitter many times. *counseled

Does this new Cancel Culture offer refunds and returns?

Hopefully this will all get figured by January or next year, whichever comes first.

Whenever someone says "do your research" and what they actually mean is "click these links to unverified sources" or "watch these contextually ambiguous videos framed to an agenda" - an angel loses its wings

I wonder what crossfitter enthusiasts and peleton owners talk about when they get together...

Remember when your Twitter timeline was filled with people you actually followed and your notifications were actually relevant? Anyone?

Multivarinappriatism is my new guiding principle.

"The Best is yet to come" refers to an old folktale about a sexually frustrated person that was always doing favors for other people.

Pretty sure most of us are doing this wrong.