New Starfleet Vessel Unable To Reach Warp Speed Because Crew Is Too Fat buff.ly/y13M4YN

Looks like the camera man has snuck up behind him while he’s taking a piss.

pens fucking upside down 😭😭😭😭

More than 200,000 Danish citizens have signed a petition to buy California as a response to Trump’s attempt to take Greenland. They say they will provide Californians with “rule of law, universal health care, fact-based politics, and a lifetime supply of Danish pastries.”

Right. That's it. I'm standing up for 10 minutes. Now we score.

Get Own Goal on.

Hasn't worked. FFS.

Wait… Ola Aina purposely kept the ball in using his arm… inside the box?! Am I going mad or is that not the most obvious handball of the season?! Don’t worry guys… if it’s going out for a corner, just scoop it in with your arm! Crazy!

I’m genuinely seeing Arsenal ‘fans’ want Arteta sacked for being SEVEN points clear. “Well it should be more” - there’s no given right it should be more. Get over yourselves and get a grip you weirdos.

Oh well. Onto the next!

Glad to see people aren’t overreacting

Crazy headloss on this app. I get it. 3 title races in a row and we’re worried it’s happening again. I do get it. But it honestly could only happen on X. It warps reality because people can hide behind faceless accounts and bring the worst shadows of their personalities to

Ruben Amorim watching Michael Carrick's Man United wipe the floor with Man City...

For those that threw their toys out because we ONLY got a point at the City ground and said that Villa would DEFINITELY win today, can all now put their toys back in their cot because Villa DIDN'T win and we're still 7 points clear. On we go. Always Arsenal...⚽❤️

Everton

WHAT 😭

Imagine if he saves this...

I wanted an early night. Thanks Diaz. THANKS ALOT

Brahim Diaz penalty