I find the vast majority of you profoundly unpleasant.

Congrats to Justin Timberlake for winning the Video Vanguard award over fellow nominees Keyboard Cat and iPhone Product Placement. #VMA

Miley Cyrus doing so many on stage Pussy Taps brought to you by Taco Bell.

Firefighters are amazing. That is all. #Inners

A good name for a gynecologist rapper would be Cervix A Lot #unfollowme

Tattoos are so expensive. Whenever I see someone with a bunch of them I think "wow you must be rich!"

Tee-shirt Thursday! Two fave logo teeeeeeease #logotees #apple #applelogo #vw #vwlogo #vwgear instagram.com/p/fCL8GZzMay/

My city's gorgeous skyline! Primo shot from the Coronado Bay bridge. O, San Diegooo... #sandiego… instagram.com/p/hW8grWzMak/

OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCING #KROLLSHOW SEASON 2 PREMIERES JAN 14th! Sneak peak eps airs DEC 10th!

@csbaaec Yay Executive Assistant One-day Program! #socialtsunami

Great curating Jim Spellos ! #csbaaec Thank you!

Executive Assistants unite! @csbaaec #csbaaec

John Mulaney: New in Town is #streaming now on Netflix John Mulaney

Parade of nations would be so much better if they were being *chased*. By bears, or maybe bath salts people, something along those lines.

#KrollShow’s on for all you West Coasters

In the unholy darkness of the blood moon, the wicked will be marked and the righteous spared. You will see. You will all see.

Hey-o

What account am I tweeting from? Please let me know! I'm lost!

I am such a moron