They’ve always been dicks. Dicks are gonna be dicks.

You’re a douche bag. Please cite how this is a staged story or a lie.

BREAKING NEWS: They still got your money, brainiac.

1) Oh, so you’re pro-labor now? 2) There’s this dude pulling for you, Donald J. Trump? If this is how you feel about swearing, you might want to tell him to kick gosh-darn rocks. Do it. Publicly. You fucking square.

Probably not.

Obama: “The best way to protest is to vote.” Dems: “Yeah! Woo, go O! Hashtag my real president, hashtag I miss you, hashtag resist!” Voter: “I’m gonna vote third party.” Dems: “No, not like that.”

Don’t look at us, he’s a dick and we hate him.

DEVELOPING: You’re still a bunch of straw-grasping, hysteria-driving, braindead motherfuckers, FOX 4 NEWS. x.com/fox4/status/10…

BREAKING: Ted Cruz backtracks on “Beto O'Rourke will ban BBQ” comment, says it was just a joke and claims victory over the left because they didn’t get it. After the Break - Politicians and Jokes: Should they learn how to tell them, or just fucking stop altogether?

So, you agree that Kavanaugh is being held to a standard befitting the accusations. You’re just upset other people did not suffer consequences in similar circumstances. This, of course, won’t stop you from demanding he suffer the consequences of his actions, right?

BREAKING: Ted Cruz is still a gigantic pile of shit.

Tell us more, indisputable genius Fareed Zakaria.

Shorter: “Because of that, it’s okay for republicans to get away with it.” Nice moral high ground there.

“It needs accountability” Doesn’t call for republican accountability.

So you believe Kavanaugh deserves to be investigated completely?

Coming up, we ask renowned Nazi whisperer Representative Steve King what would disqualify him to be on the Supreme Court (besides not being a judge). huffingtonpost.com/entry/steve-ki…

COMING UP: Nikki Haley joins us to say that the president’s claims at the UN got laughs because they appreciated his honesty. We ask her how laughing was then not an expected reaction and how anyone can appreciate something they’ve never experienced before.

BREAKING: @realdonaldtrump attacks Christine Blasey Ford at a rally, to cheers and applause. NOT BREAKING: The President is a fucking douche bag who can’t help but constantly up his douchey ante.

BREAKING NEWS: Len Suzio is a spineless dick. We’re kidding, Senator. We do know what “BREAKING” means. Max Reiss Mike Savino🗒🎥 @SusanRaf1 Dan Haar Ken Dixon ctnewsjunkie The Middletown Press Mary Ellen Godin Matt Zabierek Mark Davis Mark Pazniokas

His name is “Flake” for a reason.