I hate when people read over my shoulder while I'm texting. 2 car lengths please Mr. Policeman. bitly.xaijo.com/oMCGg

bitly.xaijo.com/amanda Every cab driver I've ever had seems like he killed thousands of people in his homeland.

"Fee Fi Fo Fum" is the "HAY HAY GIIRLFRIEEEND" of giant speak. shorturl.xaijo.com/mattie

Some people are about as useful as the "r" in February. bitly.xaijo.com/olga

I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman. bitly.xaijo.com/gene

Dad: i don't know why you wear a bra-you've got nothing to put in it. MUM: you wear pants don't you? bitly.xaijo.com/katrina

do i have an account with twitter

@astriddaphne

The water from a drinking fountain tastes like pennies and mumps. fw2.bdsmgalls.net/glenna