Darlings, it's terribly #Awks when one is trying to have a demo with a couple of one's very closest friends and someone spoils it with facts x.com/hassan_akkad/s…

We complained about Red Tory Blairite Scum boring on about doorknocking and got suspended for the duration. #TooTiresome #SeeYouOn9thJune

Breaking: Pam has cancelled the Victory Parade through the village followed by Victory Drinkies, just because we lost the election. #Pedant

To clarify: democracy is when we stuff a meeting with our chums to railroad a vote. When that doesn't work it's an establishment stitch-up.

Last night Diana was explaining to Pam about how we have ALWAYS believed in polls & Eric Blair said it gave him idea for book! #Muse #Inspo x.com/britainelects/…

Poor Debo is in absolute floods over this. We haven't seen her this upset since her rabbit got mange. #Crushed x.com/florapost1/sta…

After making outrageously antisemitic statements, my very good friend Jackie Walker responds entirely proportionately to criticism

Tony Blair would have stolen the pram and bombed the baby. #JC4PM x.com/rachael_swindo…

We condemn violence on all sides in all situations etc. Two sides to every story etc. We did shriek when Studley bit a Blairite tho. #Larks

So confused darlings. Thought we transformed the world last year, Oop North. Now we have to do it AGAIN? At least it's nearer London. #Phew x.com/redbeasley78/s…

Darling Owen. He has taken over from Mr Lay as the chicken man #Squawk x.com/mikegalsworthy…

We don't see the problem with this. x.com/supermathskid/…

The important word here is 'If'. #PowerIsSoNonU x.com/paddygspur/sta…

Jeremy Corbyn 'disrespects' Catholics by accepting communion at a funeral mirror.co.uk/news/politics/…

Unity has explained this. As DL is the new Messiah Saviour Of All he was actually eating HIMSELF which is icky but fine. #KeepTheFaith x.com/mitfordparody/…

Ken Loach says Jackie Walker should have ‘significant’ role in Labour thejc.com/news/uk-news/k… via @jewishchron

Well, of course. If we're going to start being picky about antisemites then poor Unity & Diana's cocktail nights will b v poorly attended. x.com/mitfordparody/…