2025 resolution? ~less patient more stabby.

my soulmate probably saw my twitter and said nvm

You look like you could ruin my life and this pussy…wanna grab dinner?

Looking forward to leaving 2024 behind me.

It's new year's eve! Let's pretend to be better people next year.

Is buttcheeks one word or should I spread them apart? I wanna get this text just right. 🥴

You act so surprised when my mouth actually does hurt your feelings.

︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎

400 fucking grocery carts to choose from and I always pick the Ford Pinto with a flat tire.

So he’s not a 10… Girl you don’t have to look at his face if you’re sitting on it.

some hoodies dont hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie

just got the “tiktok is banned” pop up, closed the app, then went back to it 3 seconds later out of habit. yeah i’m cooked

I bet this half time show cost less then a carton of eggs to produce.

If ur boyfriend is ugly do NOT post him on Friday…. this week is already hard enough

The Amish Powerball is up to 4 dozen eggs

I'm not medicated enough to like most people.

It’s fuck that guy o’clock somewhere. Tequila shots it is.

Oh hey.. been a minute.

Don’t go getting all emotional when I ghost you. It’s almost Halloween ffs. Get in the spirit. 🙄

Idk who needs to hear this but he didn’t deserve those tits anyway.