“Playboy: Fill In The Blank: The key to the perfect pool party is _________?” A pool.

Yeah I've done PEDs and signed autographs for money, do somethin'

Everyone should stop by my 90sKids! food truck tonight, I'll be serving uncooked hot dogs and kid cuisines out of my trunk

Double dog dare you crazy kids to start annunciating the "th" in clothes...that's what I thought

#hangoutwithGP So now that we're in year 2 in the SEC will you finally scrap the 20 QB Powers/game?Robert Givens

Locksmith Financial Tip #1: Don't purchase mutual funds or stocks just because they have your initials in their ticker symbol

Thanks for the thought CareerBuilder, but I'm going to pass on the Bob Evans Restaurant Manager position

Sometimes I'll "thumbs down" songs by the station artist just to keep Pandora on her toes

"Massachusetts is a weird name for a state" -Founding Father ahead of his time

Huge fantasy draft tonight,$170 per,14 team PPR league zach payne #AnyQuestions

“@sodaniel118: why'd I choose a school without a football team?” Suck it

Missed a belt loop this morning, my life is over

What they say: "I don't like trail mix" What they mean: "even peanuts & chocolate can't force me to eat raisins"

Heath Ledger looks really bad ass in that new Rush movie, can't believe he did all his own stunts

I've got 2 tickets to tomorrow cardinals game for sale $45/ticket...text or call me at (314) 952-2444 Section 453 Row 7

Anyone still looking for a ride to (and from) homecoming let me know, seats available on the bus for $36/person

Thank the currently fetal baby Jesus that mistletoe laws aren't strictly enforced, that would make for some awkward family parties

Heytyyy

Protest Porn