A few years ago, a town about 30 minutes from us had a huge number of Somalian immigrants move in. I don't know how it came about. I know they were brought because of the turkey plant there was struggling in a big way. Like many small towns, finding workers is a huge

Well my name is Elon and I’m here to say Funky rhymin’s how I spend my day!

“Our ideas are so mid no new citizen would vote for them” is a weird flex

I buy all my gold from the woman who once yelled “don’t come in my ear” on a hot mic

Solution: Make. Everything. H-E-B.

Next level tweet

My Washington Post column about the worst app I've ever used. Including iFrenchKiss, which I'm pretty sure started monkeypox. washingtonpost.com/opinions/2024/…

I love anything at Goober McCruz’s expense

“Do not obey in advance”

Just voted. They were out of I Voted stickers. “Sorry. We already ran out.” Actually v ok with that.

How many Ohio State fans just switched to Kamala?!?

An extra hour in 2024 is like a free bonus track on a Yoko Ono album.

Holy fuck I hope the Blue Jays win the World Series now

When you don’t know how money works

Stunning to watch the US President just hand an astonishing W to a Russian leader. The fuck is going on?

How we vibing with the new One Person Controls Citizenship dance

I wish the neighbor who leaves bottles in my yard would have kicked off BEFORE the new “we will get you fired if you’re not sad at every death” rule had kicked in.

Eric Clapton with his cat.

Texas Republican comes out against Trump Org ties to Saudis, apparently …

Texas. Everyone in charge here is a dork.