If I were on Love Island I would just be swimming around having fun in the sun

Fuck Cookie Dough. Marry Mint Chip. Kill Neapolitan.

I love to leave parties early, get right into my bed, and google things like "why does my left heel itch?"

My heel still itches, someone help.

If this tweet gets 1K likes... I will go to sleep cause it's late!

I love fake ice in TV shows.

No Celine...MY Heart Will Go On.

Where do I find this crab?

So PLEASE check out episode 1 of a new internet show I was a part of and hoping to make into a series. It's called OVERSHARING and it's about two best friends and the weird hellscape people in their 20s find themselves struggling through. vimeo.com/740017189

The first episode of ‘OVERSHARING’ is hot n ready! I co-created and co-wrote this sweet mess with @KyleKasabian and Mary Ryan, directed by maureen bharoocha and executive produced by Jay Kogen and Naomi Odenkirk! A dream come true! Watch: vimeo.com/740017189

The first episode of ‘OVERSHARING’ is HEREEEEE! I co-created and co-wrote with my besties @KyleKasabian and Lucy Blehar directed by maureen bharoocha and executive produced by Jay Kogen and Naomi Odenkirk! I can't even believe it!!! WATCH!!! vimeo.com/740017189

Bunny MacDougal can suck a dick

My boobs are getting bigger and I am worried I made a deal with the devil and forgot.

I’d rather date a gay man from Silverlake than a straight man from NoHo

Retweet if you are also drinking boba tea and listening to the "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" soundtrack

fuck the Scarecrow, marry the Cowardly Lion, kill the Tin Man

I bought charcoal toothpaste, so now whenever I brush my teeth I feel the girl from the exorcist.

If you have a Twitter crush on me tell me before it’s too late

I wish my horoscope would say "Today, you will get railed by a hottie" :/