OCB out here declining penalties after conceding two of the dumbest goals of the season by doing the ol' long stutter step to out-wait the goalkeeper and then not out-waiting him (or placing the shot well).

The announcer called this OCB-Inter Miami II game "El Clasico del Sol, MLS NEXT Pro edition," but that's not a thing and we don't recognize that designation. Everyone knows this is the reserve edition of Tropic Thunder.

Justin Ellis looks like a player. And he is developing quickly.

If anyone is looking for Messi, look in the pocket of rookie midfielder Joran Gerbet. 😂

Someday, United will start scoring goals against EPL teams again (not counting themselves) and it'll be glorious. Not sure if today will be that day, but it would be a lot cooler if it is.

1 Don't bother closing down the crosser. 2. Shaw in position to deal with the cross. Doesn't. 3. Onana, wyd? Can you actually see a soccer ball?

EPL team, so one-goal deficit is insurmountable for this attack.

It's possible United will never be good again. I'm not even sure Sir Alex could get Hojlund to score goals.

Manchester United's last nine games vs. English teams: 1-0 loss to Tottenham 1-0 loss to Chelsea 2-0 loss to West Ham 4-3 loss to Brentford (hey, goals scored!) 1-1 draw to Bournemouth 1-0 loss to Wolves 4-1 loss to Newcastle 0-0 draw to Man City 1-0 loss to Nottingham Forest

It's pretty obvious that clicking "see less often" does not one damn thing in terms of what you get in your notifications on this here former bird app.

OCB doesn't mess around. When the Young Lions are bad, they are incredibly bad.

Brilliant move by Ricardo Moreira here, getting Atleti to re-sign Griezmann so he can come here on a loan. 😉

Well, at least this isn't the most disgraceful thing to happen in the U.S. today.

Gregg's worst loss, I believe, was a 5-1 loss to Colombia.

I watched that entire match, which shows you the level of my self-loathing.

We could (and should) get a @WPIOOTBGW for that goal against OCB. Just ridiculous levels of unnecessary risk there.

Me watching PSG pummel Inter Miami:

Miss me with the "improved performance" talk. Same United: poor goalkeeping, poor set piece defending, poor finishing, and another loss at home. I'll believe they're better when they show me they're better.

Dang, we're rapidly running out of time to add Antoine Griezmann on loan in this transfer window.