If nobody hates you, are you really doing your best?

❓The predicted hike has led some customers to ask: What happens if I refuse to pay?

We need a system where key workers and those who make up the state: Teachers, clinical professions, shop workers, transport and distribution workers etc etc, are supported by voted-in normal people - commoners - not rich scsmmers - into a democratic centre - a house of commons

I pronounce it democrazy. No one says a word because it sounds right.

I just dropped a tweet with the word "cripes"in it. Do I win Twitter?

Knowing my luck I'm probably"that guy" who doesn't know he's "that guy".

Awww, poor energy bosses will have to leave their yachts in dry dock..

People who don coats and throws to go outside your warm homes to be warmed by an inefficient outdoor fire... Really?

If one of the Spice Girls was Canadian, she would have been Sorry Spice.

I used my wife’s body wash. Now I hit curbs when I drive.

hi mom i joined a militia

Look around. All that clutter used to be money.

A large cameltoe is called an undertow and can be extremely dangerous

I need a new wash basket. My old one leaks soapy water everywhere.

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

This is the tweet I scheduled way back on 23/10/2018. Hope it was worth the wait.

I started this account while waiting for an eye exam and haven't seen the light of day since 😒