Earth is alive, and the proof is that we are too.

Gen alpha is about to be completely unhinged yo

My career has been crazy! This one time I used the Dewey Decimal system to organize a private porn collection with 30,000 publications. Curious about more of my random career exploits? Lol

At this point my ads are so dialed in I basically just have a digital shopping assistant helping me find stuff I didn’t know I wanted yet. 🤦🏾‍♂️

The “bottle neck” metaphor doesn’t make sense to me— the neck of the bottle is where the liquid actually comes out, I feel like the metaphor should be about the cork or a bottlecap

Ok so BeReal is basically a daily amber alert that is telling me I need to post within 2mins or my friends won’t know I have a life

Eating w/ cam on virtual meeting (eg a cookie) not spaghetti

I wish people could put on hazard lights in daily life. I don’t need to know what you’re going through but I would like to that you know you are going through it, so I can go around you.

Did TikTok Now copy BeReal faster than Instagram Reels copied TikTok? Faster than IG stories copied Snapchat? 🪞

To all the people who leave a few seconds on the microwave without pressing cancel to clear it. —I hope you get stuck in traffic on the way home. 🙄

When you go to a cafe to work and eat, and then the wifi doesn’t connect. They should take the food back so you can go somewhere else. I feel like that’s reasonable.

FYI your team is not "high performing".

How do you know if you’ve forgotten something if you forgot to remember it.

The whole IAD/DCA thing is really just a cruel way of separating the pros from the amateurs😅

My name is no longer Maceo. Just call me Mbape

Me, in any political debate:

Some of these places that are dog-friendly, be letting in dogs that ain't friendly.🐾

I'm discussing “something elegant.” with Ann and Citizens Of Culture. Today, Jan 25 at 6:00 PM EST in @clubhouse. Join us! clubhouse.com/event/M1vB2R73…

my acting career is about to go OOOOFFFFF

My intellectual crush has released LIFE