Observing Sandpiper migration patterns, thought I saw the Yakuza trying to conquer Manhattan. Turns out I stopped a jewel heist.

I mean .. I knew you were all waiting for it to happen. I had to let that pitch go.

Wow, that was TOUGH! I'm glad pretty much every other batter on our team got hits, because I went 0-4. But I fielded a groundout! Also, I saw a Purple Warbler, a Song Thrush and an international incident!

Another game, another Strike, Looking strikes out looking! But I got a great picture of a Eurasian Tree Sparrow, and I'm pretty sure that was some ninjas trying to kidnap Pope Sunman!

I DID THE HIT THING!

Wait, what do you mean "Caught Stealing Second Base"? I wasn't stealing, that international cat burglar was!! Also, there was a Great Curassow bird!

huff ... huff .. huff ... that's ... a lot of bases to run. But I've got two more hits and scored a run! And I'm pretty sure that Swallow asked for my autograph.

I had a Sacrifice that gained an out! That's the most Society for Internet Blaseball Research 🔮 thing I've ever done!

That. Was. SOOOOOOOOOOO. Stressful!