Half the nonsense you see on Twitter is just designed to enrage you and the other half is designed to engage you.

All my favorite toxic chemicals are now on backorder thanks Ohio

I hate shower sex I can never get the whole shampoo bottle up my ass

Cat with gang tattoo rescued from Mexican prison up for adoption metro.co.uk/video/cat-gang… via Metro

vengeful spiteful beneful

What we lose in the fire We'll find in the ashes

NASA posts a new picture of Uranus

Raw Story Disney is making a new movie about a trans whale and calling it, "Maybe Dick."

Take every bit of it And get fuckin rid of it

x.com/videospvcagado…

It's been a dog eat dog day And I'm wearing boxer shorts from chewey.com

My boss said good workers are hard to find I said I'll need a better hiding spot

I wish I was rich instead of sooo good looking

I read all of your tweets in a gilbert gottfried voice

VULVAS GET ITCHY

Is reposting like composting? I feel like they are similar.

I want to get a case of wine at Trader Joe’s but without judgment so now I’m making a work shirt from a fake Italian bistro so I can come in and be like, “We’a need more’a Wine at the bistro” 🤷‍♀️

Doubts kill more dreams than failure ever will.

Someone stole my identity and improved my credit score.

On my way to the airport! I’m not flying anywhere it’s just the only place a person can drink at 10am and not be perceived as a raging alcoholic.