BEAST GAME EPISODE 3 IS OUT NOW! To celebrate, I'm giving away $100,000 total to 10 random people who like and retweet this post! Go watch it here: amazon.com/beastgames

Can’t speak to the other things, but GOOD FOOD?! Don’t think bland gas station potato salad, jar of pickled eggs, sleeve of Saltines and room temp PBR counts as “good food”. Also, don’t crank call the numbers on this poster! That would be rude. Please don’t be rude to the Klan.

Hey, Under Face Value ⬇️ - NIN next week. Think it #PaysToWait ??

Speaking of lines! Now do the GIF with this quote: “Humanity faces catastrophic temperatures by the mid-2030s, and the consequences are not only irreversible but will accelerate exponentially absent immediate systemic transformation across the globe.”

"My mom sounds like Gene Hackman, apparently" made me laugh out loud during a neighborhood walk. I'm sure I seemed crazy. Thanks for another fun listen, LexG !

I will miss the internet when it’s gone. People responding sincerely to jokes. People responding jokingly to sincerity. Random unexpected nudity. You just don’t get nearly as much of these sorts of interactions in real life.

One of the best descriptors in the South is “that’s a big ol boy right there,” which can be used to describe everything from a gentleman to a dog, a fish, a wild boar, a pine tree, or even a large tomato.

They had my attention in the first half of this tweet, I’m not gonna lie

If I had a dollar for every Republican president that got us involved in a war in the Middle East in my lifetime I would have like 3 dollars, which is not a lot of money, but kind of a lot of wars.

If there’s one thing Jesus absolutely hated it’s poor people having access to healthcare. The Bible is very clear on this.

I hate that the Iron Sheik didn’t live to see this day. He absolutely hated Chuck Mangione.

RT if you’re gonna have some beers this weekend.

Retweet. Gonna send out a handful of Saul Goodman business cards to followers. Worldwide!

The worst song ever recorded is Kid Rock’s “All Summer Long,” which is strange because it’s made up almost entirely of two other very good songs

Thanks, New York Times

Shut the fuck up you dork ass loser. Seriously some of the softest dumbest people on the internet.

Auburn has a chance to do the right thing for the entire country and hire a certain politician, one with a track record of success who would do a lot less damage coaching than they have in Washington. You know I’m right so let’s all say it together: Auburn head coach Katie Britt

Not now sweetheart, they made some weird design changes on one of daddy’s apps for no good reason

I don't always clear my calculator... but when I do, I hit both 'C' and 'CE' a bunch of times because I don't know exactly what they do.

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