diary of a wimpy kid clothbound classic when..

dude whiffed a layup

living in a time of endless spiritual flattening really emphasizes how important it is to be a good person and keep love in your heart. it’s hard, but nothing else matters.

so nobody wanted to tell me jonah ryan is on the percy jackson show?

i’m like if a girl was an old man

unfortunately pitch perfect 2 is actually pretty dang funny which goes against everything i’ve said since it’s release

never bought into the “baby it’s cold outside is creepy” hype. we’re simply listening to two teases with game edge each other during a snowstorm. representation matters

i wore bella swans birthday dress to christmas eve church and no one even knew

made a joke in a tiktok comment and swifties are calling me evil is this how dr bryanlicious2 feels?

senses: deprivated

last night i was liked on hinge by both halves of an “ethical non monogamous, dating separately” couple :-/

need this

don’t know where the cat is but i can hear her snoring

coworker asked if i dropped something popsicle shaped. friends, it’s an unopened tampon

It’s every woman’s right to call a man a bitch

That subversive observation you have about human relationships? Everybody Loves Raymond did an episode about it 30 years ago

"Michelangelo quer pintar outra Capela Sistina"