Whataburger Cashier: You like 3 Picantes with it right? Me: Fuck.

My son is driving from Utah to Texas. He just hit Wyoming. I know it’s the correct route, but my brain refuses to register that he’s not driving in the wrong direction.

Non Christians not knowing that Christianity does not follow the Levitical Laws is always the funniest thing to me. “See! It says here in this part that doesn’t apply to your religion that you’re suppose to do this!”

Thank God Dolly Parton is okay

The most important life lesson is learning how many double vodka cranberries gets you road head, how many gets you anal, and how many gets you watching a Civil War documentary while she snores next to you.

Me watching the Yankees lose while my Astros have been sitting at home for two weeks.

Everyone hates on October Kershaw but did anyone stop to think that maybe his Texas roots run too deep and he hates the liberal cesspool that is Los Angeles and wants their fans to suffer year after year as revenge? Because if you look at it that way he’s a hero.

Me after the Yankees get eliminated every year

My daughter is getting married this weekend. So today I begin the long trek north, deep into the heart of Yankeeland. Wish me luck.

I have survived the journey north to Houston. The land is nice but these northerners call supper “dinner”. Odd.

One more day and she’s someone else’s problem

All dressed up on a Friday

I’m proud of this one

Texas Fight 🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻

I would not have fired James Franklin. Not yet. Penn State is more likely to take a step back than a step forward with whoever comes next.

This guy is an atheist who voted for Hillary and was a life long liberal until a few years ago when he randomly decided he wanted to be on the right and now he just attacks the right non stop. And some of yall buy into it. Don’t ever listen to someone who volunteered for Obama.

Thank God I was born late enough to never have to watch this shit.

There’s a book called The Unknown Warriors where they asked British WWII vets to reflect on their service and they almost all said they regretted fighting the war because of how their country turned out.