If Obama was smart he would change his name to Beyoncé and then change Beyoncé's name to Olive Garden #domesticpolicy #breadstix

#knittingonmolly5ever

"OMG this is going to be my big break, I know it " - Girl R. Kelly pissed on

When Limp Bizkit got excited were they known as Erect Bizkit ?

When Eli Manning hears criticism he looks at his Super Bowl rings, smiles & goes back to coloring outside the lines in his coloring book

Punched a hippo in the tit yesterday and I'm now the new running back for the Cardinals #nationalfunleague

Fuck bitches get free breadstix and salad

If you want to see humanity at its worst go to a strip club at 1 in the afternoon

All my bitches look like Joy Behar #knittingonmolly

You could build a god damn library will all the nudes of celebs being leaked, and it would definitely be more popular than even a Chipotle

Putting interned at the Illuminati on my resume

I wonder how many times a day Chief Keef is called " Chief Queef"..... I would guess around like 8

Fuck bitches get bacon

Life plan

Why were frosted tips ever considered a good idea