Me: Here’s half my income. Daycare: Cool. Here’s a new virus every other week.

🧵Many folks recently have tweeted about how its hard to talk about what’s going on in Minneapolis without sounding like a conspiracy theorist. Nobody seems to want to openly have this discussion, understandably, out of safety concerns. Local media doesn’t dare report on this.

Jumping on the fuck americanair train

Bf has covid and I don’t…two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Verona where we lay our scene

YOU'RE TELLING ME AMERICANS DON'T KNOW WHAT COUNTRY THIS IS???!????!!??!!??

I want to quit my job but then what happens if I want to buy myself a lil treat?

manager: you’re late me: i can turn around & go home if its a problem

Emergen-c is maybe dare I say an elixir of the gods

Ok but as a tall person why are you scared of heights

The calluses on my feet could take a bullet

May the memory of Tyre Nichols be a blessing. May he rest in power. I urge all journalists and reporters to be intentional with their language and for editors to avoid vague, misleading headlines. This was a *murder*, police violence, part of a genocidal history.

Watching the ecoterrorist episode of the x files 😳

I can do a pull-up! That’s all

they came up with the name "Gnomeo and Juliet" and thought this name is so good let's make a Whole movie

You know it’s spring in minnesota when you see people shoveling snow in tank tops

This is the most intense April fools joke I’ve ever been victim to

Certified freak 5 days a week because I have a good work/life balance