@ bachelorette finale— I think we REALLY saw how similar Devin is to Pete

can’t let a guy with green texts fuck my head up OY DOI DOI DOI

my need for comfort will always rise above the needs of my bladder.

obvi sad about luka leaving, but where is the justice for maxi????? 8 years with the Mavs and no one is saying shit!!!!! #byemaxikleber #illmissyou #lukadeservesbettertoo #mavswhy

has anyone tried a vodka celsius at the bar?

dudes this guy em is talking said fergie was his favorite artist - I miss this - I didn’t know that was an option - she’s now my favorite artist.

just don’t wanna update phones anymore. they work fine.

also need to stop asking boys if they wanna play cards at midnight - they get the wrong idea

what about giving up being single for lent? would that be cool? #wwjd?

really nervous to have children - what if I get one with an outie bellybutton ??

calling it now ::: Bo Burnham is gonna have an EGOT

just overheard ::: “who’s nicole kidman?” “oh she’s the villain in paddington”

never gonna say I have cankles EVER AGAIN !!

love love love love muting boysss!! thank you markie zuckerberg !! if you are a boy in my phone - you are muted. simply put.

do you think people would pay for bruised feet pics?

sprite has healing powers !!

who has been keeping the fact that DJ stands for disc jockey from me?? actually rude. you know how i feel.

thought it was time for a cry but found out grace van patten and jackson white are still going strong

only peed three times today - feel like it’s not enough

dolphins lactate?