I haven’t felt this much hope in a year. Congratulations Zohran Kwame Mamdani #americasmayor 💙🤍❤️

All this would be a smidge easier to swallow if people weren’t blindly following slash worshiping slash protecting such a narcissistic idiot who likely wears a diaper.

Bless a quiet Lyft driver that drives in a way you’re pretty sure you might die but if you don’t, you’ll get to the airport with plenty of time to eat a $45 salad 🤗🩷

Your employees not smiling enough is definitely not why profits are down Target usatoday.com/story/grocery/…

This. This right here. Thank you Aaron Parnas this important reminder. Remember the victims. Remember the survivors.

BREAKING: Australia Could become the First Western country to permanently ban Trump, his family, and Members of his administration from its Country

And let the mental gymnastics begin.. up first Megyn Kelly Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

On the bright side, we probably won’t have to hear from Megyn Kelly for a good long while.

At this point, The Sizzler has to be a business front. Right? There’s an absurd amount of them and as far as I can tell they’re all always pretty empty.

TODAY! @kymkral is here for a mile high time! We talk about a monkey carrying ALL of the diseases on the loose in MS. Then we try a mocktail made by a new dad who can't wait to get drunk with his baby & Kym takes us through her CO hometown where a cannibal is buried! Lynx-N-Reply

Places you can go to avoid MAGA: • Costco • Library • A high school or college graduation • Dental office • Hygiene aisles • Vaccine clinics • Drag brunches

Don’t waste your time on regret. Call that person, go after that dream job, buy your cat that Baby Bjorne, strap him to your chest and show him this big beautiful world.. The sky isn’t even the limit!

The generation who taught us to keep our elbows off the table also thought trickle down economics was a great idea. So you’re free, put your elbows on the table!

You know what I think about like once a week? This random guy who repeatedly slid into my DMs to ask me to pee on him turned out to be a MASSIVE Trump supporter. Who’s surprised?

Humans are exhausting.

Do you think Keanu Reeves and Pedro Pascal are buddies? I feel like that’s a friendship we all need right now.

I miss the days I didn’t know who Erika Kirk was.

I just watched a woman throw her mask out of her car window leaving the doctor’s office. VERY intentionally. We really are the virus.